Jurnalul de dimineataJurnalul de Botosani si Dorohoi
 
 
Blogul lui Rotundu
Mur-mur-mur şi bau-bau-bau
[Poezii şugubeţe]
de Ion Pribeagu [alte lucrari ale acestui autor]

Pe undeva, īn pustiu, departe,
Pe unde nu cresc portocali –
Nici eu nu ştiu īn care parte-
Trăia un trib de canibali.

Cu pene roşii-nfipte īn creştet
Şi tatuaţi pe piept şi braţe,
Cīnd doar se apropiau de tine,
Simţeai că-s gata să te-nhaţe !

Nu te băteau –ferească Domnul –
Doar te stropeau cu Eucalipt,
Să fie carnea mai gustoasă,
Şi te mīncau, ori crud ori fript.

Cum capturau o pradă nouă,
Cīntau, dansau şi se strīmbau,
Că doar aşa puteau să-mpace
Pe Zeul lor, Mur-Mur-Bau-Bau.

Cu ţipete īnfiorătoare
Zvīrleau īn foc uscate ramuri
Şi īncingeau un dans sălbatec,
Īn sarabandă de tam-tam-uri.

Cīnd era gata fript menu-ul,
Se aşezau, smeriţi, īn jur,
Slăvind sub para de jăratec
Pe Zeul sfīnt Bau-Bau-Mur-Mur.

Odată, au prins īn laţ doi tineri
Care mergeau spre Bel-Madrim.
Pe un francez, Gaston pe nume
Şi un englez, pe nume Jim.

Văzīnd, sărmanii, un rug īn stīnga
Şi munţi de oase īn partea dreaptă,
Au īnţeles, īntr-o clipită,
Ce soartă crudă īl aşteaptă.

- Cium-Cium! – răcni la ei şeriful,
Eu sīnt milos la suferinţă,
Vă rog să-mi spuneţi care este
A voastră ultimă dorinţă?

- Aş vrea – a spus Gaston – o bere
Grozava sete a-mi potoli,
Dar vreau să fie fără spumă,
Că-mi face arsuri, a doua zi.

- Să vie urgent ! – ordonă şeful.
Si-abia rostise acest cuvīnt,
Că imediat sosi o bere
Ieşită parcă din pămīnt.

- Matale, ce-ai dori, iubite?
- Eu? –spuse Jim cu voce calmă -
Toţi opt din trib, aş vrea să-mi trageţi
Pe-obrazul stīng cīte o palmă!

- Se face! – porunci şeriful –
Si-i trase o palmă, ca la tir
Că bietul Jim se-mpleticise,
Iar ceilalti, toţi, urmară-n şir.

Cīnd i s-a tras ultima palmă,
Mai repede ca o săgeată,
Jim scoase două revolvere
Şi-i īmpuşcă pe toţi deodată.

Gaston, cu gura larg căscată,
Pe Jim īl īntrebă fără vrere:
- De ce ai răbdat atītea palme,
Cīnd aveai două revolvere ?

- Imi trebuiau aceste palme –
Răspunse dīnsul, afectat –
Şi am să-ţi spun tot adevărul:
N-am fost destul de enervat !
(Ion Pribeagu)


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